Dear God,

I don't know if you are out there, I don't know what to believe anymore. God give me strength is something I hear all of the time, but what if your not there. Who gives us strength? Only ourselves can. What if we aren't strong. I sometimes pray, but I dont know why I do, I don't expect you to listen. I know sometimes luck has helped me, and some people say that it is God watching over you. I don't believe that. If you watched over us you would help more, to see the struggles people have, so how can there be a god in a world devoted to science, and a world full of evil and unjust action. If man was made to be like its creator, then our creator is imperfect, and is selfish. And he quarrells. And he has depressing thoughts. And maybe even a mental illness. He has trials just as we as men are tried. So what if we have a god, a god that controls everything. That would mean he controls the good and the bad, everything is because of him, the sadistic crimes, and horrible abuse. You say thats the devil, well what if the devil is just another face of god, like a multiple personality disorder? He can have mental illness because he is like man. It is not to far to assume this. So, if there is a god, he is mentally ill, sadistic, evil, generous, depressed, happy, sad, caring, smiting, and perfectly imperfect. Our god is an human being. That is an even scarier thought then having no god at all.

Sincerely,

Confused

Dear Friends,

I seriously don't know what I would do without you all smiling everyday. Everyone of you is so kind, and understanding. And your all right in your own ways. You all have secrets, and you we have our ups and downs. But I am so glad to know you all are the way you are. You all are amazing. My friends, you never cease to amaze me with your kindness. I hope after we all graduate we can continue to talk. You are my reason for getting up everyday, knowing someone cares enough to so much as say something kind once in a while, it might not be much to you, but its the world to me.

Sincerely,

Your Friend

Dear Ex-Girlfriend,

Today would have been our one year, its sucks the way things turned out. I'm sorry that I worked so much, and that I wasn't a average teenage guy who just wanted to get laid. That isnt me. I am sorry that I turned you down so much, and that it led to you cheating on me. I know I have made mistakes, but I know this break up was not one of them. Whatever the future holds, it will be brighter.

Sincerely,

Your Ex-Boyfriend

Dear David,

You called me last night, Thank you. "Hey man! Is this Daniel?" "Yeah, who is this?" "Its your uncle David, man. I miss you so much! Your dad, real dad, Randy, says hi." If only you knew how long I had waited for this call. Four years of waiting. "David, I haven't seen you since the trouble with cops! How are you?" "I'm good, remember when we went fishing and I helped you catch your first fish, well I'm going to come home man, we are going to go fishing, we are going to drink a beer and talk. I bet your a couple feet taller then when I left, I know how I left you alone hurt, but I promise some day, me, you, and Randy are going to all talk like old times." "David.. you know you were my father after Randy left? And then you left. I still love you man. I think you should come down and see me, I wish I could have anyone one of those afternoons we spent down at the damn river back..." "Daniel, you know your father didn't want to leave, he loved you to death, I still tell him about you. I gave him the pictures of the day we went fishing, the day just before the fight with the officer. Before I die, I promise we will see each other again, and we will go fishing on the old farm. I gotta go, I love you. " Click. You changed everything right there. You left me hurting so bad, all those memories. Smoking with you down at the little damned pond, you showing me how to drive before I could reach the stupid pedals of your pickup. I remember that little calendar you had of those naked girls in your pickup, and you always told me those were your girlfriends. I know I will never see you again, I know you and Randy are never going to come back. But god damn do I miss you, man.

Sincerely,

Daniel Shay Carlson

Dear My Real Thoughts,

Your right, all those times I've sat in the silence and looked through old photographs of my dead friends, with that gun on my lap. I couldn't do it. I am scared of dying, but almost justly scared of living, my entire life is one hurt after another. Once I get that perfect job, I dont know what my goal will be, I don't know what I will live for. I dont know what I will do. I am so scared of being alone again. I scared to trust anyone again. I let Jade into my life, and look where it got me. Shes gone now, but she was gone a long time ago, the first time she kissed another man. I think I am gone, I am kind of numb, my feeling so stray and I feel empty. I am a ghost.

Sincerely,

My Self

Dear Work,

Im tired. Im taking the day off. Cool? Cool. Im going to go out to dinner, and enjoy a nice steak, maybe go see a movie. If its nice I might go street race. Becuase I'm sick of clocking in and working until I want to sleep on the floor. I might go home and chill in my boxers, put my feet up and drink some hot coco, but I'm not going to fill out another tax form, or federal firearm reciept, or balance my funds, or go around advertising. Its my day off.

Sincerely,

Danny

Dear Winter,

Please go away. I miss the summer time laughter, I miss driving with my windows down. Bring back the hot black top of the long roads, bring back the street racing and women in summer time skirts. Lets have one more pool party. Another round of shots for every one. Late nights with your friends. Up to late, way past curfew. Music up, hair down. Getting in trouble, not a worry on our minds, not thinking about the next day. I miss those times.

Sincerely,

Danimal